Crazy Family

 “In the next life I hope I am poor. Ya, no parents, no relatives, no friends, oh how wonderful! I would starve, yes… YES, and every time I eat it would be me who feeds myself. It would be my own sweat that earns me my rice. Oh, the things I would do. I would steal to feed myself, oh yes, how lucky it must be to not care what others think of you. What does it matter if I get caught, I will do it again and again, again and again, again and again, until that's all that is expected of me...

But what pleasure is there in that, no I will work. Not all the time, but sometimes it is easier to work. And by doing that I will repent for my crimes, yeah. What would I do with the money? Sex. I would buy prostitutes. Dru— no no let's not, it's freedom I will enjoy, I shouldn’t let myself be swayed so soon. Maybe when I shalt die—”

“Choro, the dinner is getting cold.” (*Choro -> Nepali word for son)

The thoughts were cut short. He washed his hands and sat at the dining table. He looked around; his mother was humming as she brought him the dishes, the TV on, cricket was being played, his father and sister, having already eaten, were playing around with their phones. He was sure that after his mother had placed his food she too would join them. He understood how lucky he was and he despised it all, most of all he despised himself.

As per the usual routine, he opened his phone and prepared to watch it as he munched down the food, but perhaps because he had failed the November challenge he did not do it this time. As he had predicted, his mother sat on the sofa and joined his father and sister. The dining table was right behind the sofa, and the TV right in front of them.

Today for no reason he had the confidence; as he munched down his meal, he thought of things to say to his parents. How he had been sick of the privileges he was given, how he wished to just be abandoned somewhere, how stupid it was to hate luxury, how stupid it was to hate comfort, how he knew what he was thinking was wrong and wanted some help.

He ate his food, and after doing the dishes and washing his hands again, he stood in front of them. Their eyes still fixed on their phones, they did not notice that he was standing there still. He did not dare speak first; instead after a minute he looked at the stars. He wondered what would happen if he just ran out of his home. How long would it take to find him? How long would he have to go to be lost forever? How long till they forget about him? 

“Oh how I wish I had the guts to disappoint these fools.”

As quickly as his confidence had been found, as quickly it was lost, and now he looked towards his room. He swiftly passed into his room, not a glance was shared between any one of his family.

His room was his comfort place. It was big, even bigger than his sister’s room. He remembers how he threw a small tantrum to get a bigger room than his sister, and with no resistance his sister agreed to give him the room. This made him despise them more for the easy life they had given him. It made him despise himself more.

He looked at the idols in his room. Since his room was big, much of the decorations including some statues of god, as in all Hindu homes, were placed there. He did not think much of them. You see he did not believe in the supernatural… no, it is that he found it convenient to believe that ghosts did not exist. If they did, that in itself would be the greatest punishment, a great shame for him. It was ironic; he wished for another life, for something completely drastic to happen, yet there was not a shred of him that believed in the supernatural. He found solace in the thought that nothing exists beyond death, yet was anxious of not being provided a second chance at life when nothing particularly had gone wrong in this.

His thoughts started to spiral again, the comfortable room started to suffocate him so he looked out the window. There were few people buzzing by. He could still hear the sound of the TV within his room. The breeze did not help, he got even more annoyed at everything around him.

That's just when he struck gold; he realized how he could be of trouble to all, he realized how he could ruin the night and ensuing days of all below him, he realized how frankly little he cared about himself, how he could never feel happy no matter what he achieved, even if he could. So he looked below at the pavement. Stared at it for no more than 3 seconds and found not a single problem in the plan he had just crafted. He smiled and climbed the windows and took a leap, he laughed as he committed his first crime.

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